| Balancing Male and Female |
Ceremonies/Rituals/Practices |
Community of Brothers |
Way of the Heart |
10 Tips |
ABOUT THE MEN'S HEART PROJECT
Balancing the male and female
The most profound way to truly heal and change is through honoring our own experiences by acknowledging and tending to our intimate and authentic Selves. A powerful way to begin this healing is by listening to, balancing, and unifying the sacred forces of our inner male and female selves.
| FEMALE |
MALE |
Nurturance
Gathering
Listening
Feeling
Intuitive perception
Synthesis
Containing
Mercy
Pleasure
Softness
In, under, down
Coolness
Being
Community
Merger
Earth, water elements
Yin, (shady side of hill)
|
Protection
Hunting
Speaking
Thinking
Logical perception
Analysis
Contributing
Discipline
Industry
Tone, firmness
Out, above, up
Warmth
Doing
Alone
Boundary setter
Air, fire elements
Yang (sunny side of hill)
|
All the qualities listed above are part of a sacred integral whole. We create our reality from the blending of these qualities as we manifest them in our physical bodies, our emotional and mental belief structures, and in our spiritual experiences and expression. This fundamental relationship between two parts within a whole appears either in a healthy, harmonious and balanced interaction or, conversely, as confusion, distortion and dysfunction. Unfortunately, for many of us, the later- to varying degrees- is usually the case, as we tend to live out our lives favoring only one pole or the other. We create and perpetuate imbalance in ourselves, in our lives, and in our world. If we oppress or judge, over-control or misuse, deny or withhold forces from the male or the female, it has a reciprocal effect on the other pole and its expression. This is because the male and female energies are inherently never separate but deeply interwoven within us.
An example of how imbalance between the male and female aspects of ourselves manifests in our selves and in our society can be easily recognized by the need to do, do, do, to fill our day, fill our experience, fill our lives with activities, events, stimuli, ‘things’ which can offer a sense of accomplishment, effectiveness and completion (male aspects) but often (or eventually) when taken too far, this behavior can lead to frustration, burnout, physical disease, or even an accident or other traumatic situation that can serve as a trigger to help us awaken to a need for change within ourselves.
We begin to become aware, either through a soft whispering impulse or a clear, insistent inner voice that we need to get more rest and relaxation (female aspect), and slow down from a pressured work or social pace. This is an attempt to self-nurture.
We frequently ignore the whispering voice inside, or we may register it, but then judge it as being weak, whiny, or self-indulgent. Or, we may be aware of it and choose to ignore it, de-valuing it, and push even more, because we are honoring the dictates of expectations from within ourselves (the pusher who says that you never do enough) or from the outside (male dominated establishment) which itself is out of balance. In this scenario the female becomes devalued and dormant while the male is uprooted and runs amuck. Both aspects of ourselves are sadly un-nurtured, divided and dishonored.
The Men’s Heart Project is about restoring this balance in a few powerful ways. One, through honoring and communing with the sacred within ourselves, each other and in the beauty of the natural world. Two, through the transformational healing process of self-honesty and exploration. Three, through discovering and honoring our own unique and authentic self within a community of shared ritual and practice. Transformation is the experience of being set free. It feels like freedom, or, at least, feels like you are on the path to it. You know it because it feels good; it feels right. You know it’s right and true because the experience is deeply meaningful for you.
Transformation is a movement from where you were to where you are now and there is hope in it. And although, you may not know exactly-or at all-where you are going you feel you are aligned with your own meaning and true purpose in life. This is what the Buddhist call, Dharma. You feel in harmony with the flow of life-plugged in, connected to yourself, your own heart, those around you, the beauty of the natural world and, perhaps, to Spirit itself. In traditional societies the path to transformation is always punctuated with ceremonies, rites and ritual and the practices to keep you on that path. They stand as a platform, an acknowledgement and an honoring of your own commitment to your authentic self and the pursuit of Truth.
Some Ceremonies, Rituals and Practices of The Men’s Heart Project
-The Ceremony of the four elements (fire,air,water,earth)
-Sufi Heart meditations
-Buddhist Tonglen practice
-Gazing Practice
-Yin and Warrior Yoga
-Sitting in Circle
-Sweat lodge
-Fasting
-Silent time
-Chant (honoring all traditions)
-Compassionate listening/conscious communication
-Painting True Face
-Bonding as Brother
-Self-Inquiry
A Community of Brothers
“There is something so incredibly life-affirming about the kind of joy and fellowship that emerges when many human beings, inspired by spiritual values and a higher sense of purpose, come together.” -Andrew Cohen
Apparently, the Buddha was asked the following question, “Is association with like-minded people a part of the holy life? The Buddha was reported to have declared, “Association with like-minded people is not a part of the holy life, it is the whole of the holy life.” The Men’s heart Project is a coming together of all men, young and old, as a community of compassionate brothers to share, to help and to listen to where we are at as individuals. We band together as one as we acknowledge and rejoice in where each of us are at right now, on our own life path. And as a community we celebrate it!
The Way of the heart: Loving What is Real and True
"When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.”
Martin Buber (1878 - 1965)
All human beings long for connection. We need to be seen, accepted for who we really are and to share who we are in an authentic way. This is true fulfillment. This is being aligned with what is real and True. It is the way of, and the way to, our own heart. Discovering our own calling, our own personal dharma, our authentic selves is the process of connection, for as we free ourselves from habitual modes of behavior, that we adopted from the past, we let go and we expand into our environment here and now, in our present moment to moment experience. We are no longer separate, but open, for we no longer fear our enviroment, but conversely, can embrace it, with love and compassion. Life suddenly becomes inspiring, enriching and deeply lovable, a gift and we can give thanks for it.
The following is a useful list taken from Tabby Biddle’s article in the Huffington Post.
10 Tips to Discover Your Personal Dharma
1. Pay attention to synchronicity. Life is very good at guiding you, if you just pay attention. Notice what or who keeps showing up in your life. If someone or something shows up over and over, it’s likely that the person or thing is tied to your dharma.
2. Follow callings. Callings are those things that you feel deep inside guiding you that don’t necessarily make sense to anyone else but you. You feel a direction to do something, but it’s not through your mind. These callings are preparation for your personal dharma.
3. Know when it’s time to go. If you are feeling like it’s time to move on, then it’s probably time to move on. Your mind might be fighting you, but your soul knows best.
4. Be aware that it’s not linear. The path to your personal dharma may in fact feel like a spiral. Just when you think you’ve gotten there, you find yourself spinning deeper into some aspect. It helps to surrender to the notion that the journey isn’t always forward.
5. Make friends with the illogical. It’s important to know that your dharma is not necessarily coming from a rational place. If you are trying to over-mastermind it, you will probably drive yourself crazy, and your dharma will feel even further away.
6. Have a practice that connects you to a greater source. Whether it’s yoga, meditation, painting or walking in the woods, it’s important to connect with a source greater than you because that’s where the information about your dharma lies and that’s where you’ll find the support to step into it.
7. Look at the people you admire. The people you admire tend to represent the greater aspects of you. Put on your detective hat. This can give you clues to your personal dharma.
8. Take it seriously, but be light-hearted about it. If you take discovering your dharma too seriously, you may not actually be able to see it. It helps to have a light touch.
9. Have courage to walk into the mystery. If you are committed to discovering your dharma, you’ll need to call in a higher level of trust.
10. Allow breathing space. Your dharma is not something you can “catch.” You need to take steps, then leaps, and then let yourself breathe. Patience is an absolute necessity. My intention in sharing these 10 tips is to help you see that the callings, journeys and even seeming missteps can be coalesced into a pathway toward your personal dharma.
There’s one more thing I’d like to add here. My favorite question: What is the change that you so deeply want to see in the world? Your answer to this will give you an important clue to discover your personal dharma, your sacred duty, your mission here on earth.
About the Facilitators
 Michael Pellegrino
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
-Joseph Campbell
I have always been deeply curious by what it means to be alive.
The feeling is that of tending to a very small flame deep in my guts. I can sense that all it really wants is to be nurtured so it can grow, express and share its own authentic self. So small and intimate is its own unique truth and yet I can see its great potential to grow from this teeniest, tiniest little bit to a great roaring forest fire.
So, with this tending I’ve explored with a profound curiosity the marvel it is to be uniquely human. I’ve asked the question, what is at the essence of my own personal experience? To answer this question I’ve looked toward many of the world’s spiritual traditions. What I found at the bottom of them all is that there is much more commonality then difference between them. For me, they all point, uncompromisingly, to what I like to call the sacred. It is not hidden, it is right here, readily available, yet somehow, unseen.
For all of this is the sacred, and how wonderful it is to experience the joy and wonderment of our own unique human experience and to share this gift with those around us.
My desire is to share in the sacred with the Men's Heart Project, and, in fact, with our whole collective community, through some of the practices that have stoked my own inner flame.
Out in the world I am an artist and a holistic Manual Therapist, practicing Rolfing, Craniosacral Therapy and structural energetics. I am also a yoga and postural fitness instructor and a Spiritual Director.
I like to be with friends, with my daughter Miriam, with nature, to do art, dance, chant and play guitar.
To learn more about what I do visit my website rolfingtucson.com
To view my art visit michaelpellegrino.wix.com/art
|
